Why? A journey of  growth, perseverance and humility

By Robert Williams

Editor

Michael Watchorn, of Frazee, recently released his first book, a memoir, “Why? A journey of perseverance, growth and humility,” about how the wilderness reshaped his perspective and inspired personal growth, both individually and in his family unit.

It was a family member that got Watchorn into hiking.

“Minnesota actually has its own jewels,” Watchorn said. “When I was introduced to hiking by my son Skylar; it was a whim he came up with, but we found a trail that goes right through Frazee, the North Country Trail. We found out there was plenty of trail and adventure right in our own backyard.”

Watchorn has been a Frazee resident since 2005. He grew up in Salt Lake City. Subcontractor work out of Fargo brought him to the area and he eventually took a full-time position in Fargo and chose Frazee as his place of residence.

Watchorn was chasing the dollar and busy at work and gave no thought to hiking as a regular hobby or pursuit. That changed when he had what he called a breakdown.

“I talk about it in the book,” he said. “You could say depression. I was under a lot of stress just trying to provide. I was running too hard.”

Watchorn’s second marriage brought a blended family and its own set of issues.

“I was trying to fix everything, but I just couldn’t,” he said. “I’m a fix-it guy, let’s not let it drag on, but what I didn’t realize was some people need to process stuff.”

Unable to find the solution, Watchorn “snapped and I left thinking how do I escape all this?”

The answer, “I’m going to go hike the Appalachian Trail.”

The Appalachian Trail extends 2,200 miles between Springer Mountain in Georgia and Mount Katahdin in Maine, and passes through 14 states.

“At the same time, I just walked away from my family,” he said.

While Watchorn’s grown sons were out of the house and stable, he had the blended portion of his family and wife to think about.

“It’s a bad thing to do, shame on me,” he said. “In the book, I come forth about that because when I’m on the trail everybody is asking why are you on the trail? I’m not going to air my dirty laundry. I don’t want to admit that I’m a failure. I simply said, my why is I want to challenge myself physically and mentally.”

The truth was Watchorn needed a break. 

He began hiking the trail and broadcasting on Facebook Live.

“When I started doing those videos it was all about the challenge,” he said.

Pushing my limits

In June of 2018, Watchorn packed up his golf clubs and his backpack and returned to Utah. A friend needed help with his business and Watchorn needed somewhere else to be.

“I never golfed again,” he said. “I took my backpack and I started to hit those mountains. When I lived there I never hiked those mountains.”

Every weekend Watchorn was in the mountains and hiking the biggest he could find. 

“I was challenging myself because that’s a way to get my mind off of it,” he said. “I already knew from being in the woods that I found peace where I could gather my thoughts and work through some of this stuff.”

For Watchorn, the more he pushed the better he felt.

“I’m just going to push my limits and beyond; that’s how I trained,” he said.

A fortnight prior to leaving for the Appalachian Trail, he trained at the DLCCC every day on the treadmill and stairclimber for eight hours a day wearing his backpack.

“I was fit,” he said.

Many Appalachian hikers do not train and they are typically warned to not walk more than six or eight miles per day for the first two weeks or first hundred miles so they can build strength and stamina.

Watchorn went out with a different mindset. While not setting himself up for anything detrimental. His plan was less than a positive one.

“I still wanted that physical and mental challenge,” he said. “I was in a mindset that if something happened, eh, oh well, no big deal. That’s kind of the state I was in. I just didn’t care but I still had this passion for what I was doing.”

Just getting to the trail is a test. The Approach Trail  features a notoriously steep climb of over 600 stairs and then 8-9 miles just to get to the beginning of the Appalachian Trail.

“I took that as a challenge; my whole mindset of the Approach Trail and those stairs was I am going to crush that,” he said. “I’m going to go out there and treat it like it was a walk in the park and it really wasn’t that bad because I was already in shape for that.”

His second day was 16 miles, then 21.5 miles.

“I was conditioned for that,” he said.

Humility was huge

A local axiom is that the Appalachian Trail is 80 percent mental, 20 percent physical. For Watchorn, it was the opposite—90 percent mental and 10 percent physical.

“We can accomplish anything we put ourselves through physically,” he said. “It’s all in our head.”

Watchorn’s hike lasted from starting on March 28 to a finishing date of August 13, 2019. He primarily camped with a tent and a hammock. Approximately every three to four days a side trail to a town or hostel was available. 

“It was typically every seven to 10 days you take a zero, or a day off from hiking,” he said. “I probably stayed in a hostel or hotel maybe a dozen times throughout the entire trip.”

Along the trail, Watchorn was free to explore his feelings and the lessons soon followed.

“I’ve always believed I was a humble person, but deep down I don’t know that I necessarily lived it,” he said. “I discounted the fact that my wife needed time to process things. I just didn’t understand why you need to think about that so long or why you would even want to. As men, we also don’t want to admit any weaknesses we have. We want to be the heroes and we believe we are the heroes. That’s where I was at. The one thing I learned was slow your butt down and listen to others. Not just listen and not just hear them but listen and connect with them and what they’re feeling and saying. Make that connection, don’t just hear it.”

Another big revelation was gratitude.

“Gratitude for the opportunity, the people that supported me and were there for me when I needed them,” he said. “For all the people along the trail.”

Many people followed Watchorn’s progress through his Facebook videos and in turn, encouraged him to write a book. Easier said than done.

“They didn’t know the real why,” said Watchorn. “They didn’t know why I really went out there. I didn’t lie to them when I said I was out there to challenge myself physically and mentally, but I wanted to escape and leave and stay away.”

Watchorn’s carefree, or careless, attitude about his personal safety came in handy when a bear stole a fellow hiker’s backpack. 

“I was not afraid of that bear,” he said. “Give me that bear spray and I went after the bear to get in the way so everybody else could gather their stuff and get out of there.”

The yo-yo

Finishing the hike was a bag of emotions, according to Watchorn.

“I wanted to be done because I needed a break,” he said.

He had contemplated completing the yo-yo, where you take a day off, then turn around and hike the trail the opposite way. He also did not want to return home because he was not ready.

“I didn’t know if I was ready to face the music,” he said.

Watchorn did not return to Frazee. He flew back to Salt Lake City and worked for a couple months, but after being in the woods for months the “concrete jungle” of society was too much to bear and he found his way back to the Appalachian Trail in early 2020.

“I drove back there and started doing what they call trail magic,” he said.

He set up at trailheads and cooked food and provided drinks for hikers utilizing a GoFundMe account to get money to do so. He worked with a hostel picking up hikers from the airport, getting them to the trail and helping with advice and motivation.

“And of course, COVID hit,” he said. “There was no better place to be than in the woods and I guarantee you if you’ve got COVID you aren’t walking that trail.”

Trailheads that were maintained by the states were closed and hikers would work around the trailheads to avoid arrest. Watchorn’s plan was to drive up to Maine and do another thru-hike, but this time from north to south in 2020. However, Watchorn’s efforts of helping and feeding hikers was also shut down.

“So now, I had to make the decision—time to go back home and face the music,” he said. “Honestly, it did get worse before it got better once I finished.”

Watchorn left the book open in case he decides to continue the story with a second book.

“I challenge readers to read each chapter with an open mind because I believe there is value in each chapter,” Watchorn said. “Across the board, no matter who is reading it, they can find something.”

“Why?” is currently available on Amazon and Kindle and will be distributed to other online outlets soon. Watchorn will also be in Frazee for a book signing on Thursday, May 30, at The Monarch from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m.