The Prairie Spy

Alan “Lindy” Linda

A man, a miss,

A car a curve.

He kissed the miss,

And missed the curve.

  I’m sure that Burma Shave actually saved some lives.  People laughed and 

were more careful!  It was a REAL “service” to America , even though it was an advertisement and it was one of the RARE “really useful” ones!  

  For those who never saw any of the Burma Shave signs, here is a quick lesson in our history of the 1930’s and ‘40’s.

  Before there were interstates, when everyone drove the old 2 lane roads, Burma Shave signs would be posted all over the countryside in farmers’ fields.  They were small red signs with white letters. Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each containing 1 line of a 4 line couplet… and the obligatory 5th sign advertising Burma Shave, a popular shaving cream.

Don’t stick your elbow 

out so far 

it may go home 

in another car.  

Burma Shave 

Trains don’t wander 

all over the map 

‘cause nobody sits 

in the engineer’s lap.  

Burma Shave 

She kissed the hairbrush 

by mistake 

she thought it was 

her husband jake.  

Burma shave 

Don’t lose your head 

to gain a minute 

you need your head 

your brains are in it.  

Burma shave 

Drove too long 

driver snoozing 

what happened next 

is not amusing.  

Burma shave 

Brother speeder 

let’s rehearse 

all together 

good morning, nurse.  

Burma shave 

Cautious rider 

to her reckless dear 

let’s have less bull 

and a little more steer.  

Burma shave 

Speed was high 

weather was not 

tires were thin 

x marks the spot.  

Burma shave 

The midnight ride 

of paul for beer 

led to a warmer 

hemisphere.  Burma shave 

Around the curve 


beautiful car 

wasn’t it?  Burma shave 

No matter the price 

no matter how new 

the best safety device 

in the car is you.  

Burma shave 

A guy who drives 

a car wide open 

is not thinkin’ 

he’s just hopin’.  

Burma shave 

At intersections 

look each way 

a harp sounds nice 

but it’s hard to play.  

Burma shave 

Both hands on the wheel 

eyes on the road 

that’s the skillful 

driver’s code.  

Burma shave 

The one who drives 

when he’s been drinking 

depends on you 

to do his thinking.  

Burma shave 

Car in ditch 

driver in tree 

the moon was full 

and so was he.  

Burma shave 

Passing school zone 

take it slow 

let our little 

shavers grow.    

Burma shave 

Do these bring back any old memories? if not, you’re too young.

If they do – then you’re old as dirt. like me! 

I loved reading them.

Shaving brushes

you’ll soon see’um

way out east

in some museum

He played a sax

had no b.o.

but his whiskers scratched

so she let him go

He had the ring

he had the flat

but she felt his chin

and that was that

When cutting whiskers:

You don’t need

to leave one half

of them for seed

Don’t take a curve

at sixty per

we’d hate to lose

a customer

Past schoolhouses:

Take it slow

let those little

shavers grow

From annual contests:

Her chariot raced

at 80 per

they hauled away

what had ben hur

He lit a match

to check gas tank

that’s why they call him

skinless frank