By Tyler Trieglaff

Notes from the Chief

Well, I spoke too soon. Last Friday morning there was a calf that didn’t make it. We had 37 in a row with nary a problem, then boom, it hits you in the gut.  

As of press time, we have 56 calves on the ground starting to contribute to the global, or at least regional beef market. I was running behind schedule when I typed this so I’m skipping the weekly police report, but giving you all a reminder now that summertime weather has arrived. (Below was first printed a couple years ago)

Ya’ll ready for this one? You say you are, but are you ready for this one? Alright, I want you to look down, go on, look down, look down, look at your feet. It’s springtime, that means open toed shoes, sandals and flip flops have popped out. Your feet have come out of hibernation, some of them weren’t ready to wake up. I just want you to know this one thing… take care of your feet if you’re going to expose them in public!

If you’re going to show ‘em to everybody, you need to deal with them. Now you ladies that look like you’ve been walking down a gravel road kickin’ rocks, you don’t have a pedicure, you got a hoofacure. You need to paint the whole toe or don’t paint it at all. We don’t want to see some chipped-up nasty. 

I am not making fun of any level of deformity; you can’t help that. I will say this in your choice of shoe. If your feet look like they are flipping me the bird through the open end of your peep toes, it’s time to go with a different style. If your feet look like they are hanging off the end, like a monkey holding onto a branch, it’s time to go up a size. Don’t just look at the toe, also look at the back of your foot. If it looks like a roadkill armadillo cause it’s so dried out, try a little paraffin wax and get down to an 80 grit sandpaper. Smooth that stuff out! Work on ‘em, soak ‘em, please do something about those feet.  

And you boys, I have to pick on you too… some of you need just to leave the flip flops at the store. Don’t do it, just don’t do it. If your feet look like a paint scraper for a Buick or a snow shovel in winter, you do not need to expose those toes to the world. Now, I’s sure you’re saying, now Tyler I’m sure your feet aren’t pretty either. No they’re not pretty, that’s why I wear boots!  There is no such thing as pretty men’s feet.  Most men have toenails that look like dip size Fritos, and I don’t see any cheese. I do walk around in boots, and I also walk around the house with the lights off when I’m barefooted.  

One more thing for the men, keep ‘em trimmed so mama don’t think she’s sleeping with a puma.  Keep ‘em clean, keep ‘em trimmed or keep ‘em to yourself!  

(Disclaimer: I can’t say that this all my original work, but I think it accurately gets the message out in quite a humorous way)