I think yard sales, or garage or rummage sales, or whatever you call them, are probably two very opposite things. 1. They’re a great way to make money off junk. Or 2. They’re a great way to lose money on junk.

A very wise Finnish descendant who could come up with sayings that reflected much more wisdom and education than he should have had, once told me: “Whether it is a cold draft or a warm breeze depends upon who opened the window.” It is possible yard sales fall into this category.

It’s not that I am an expert at garage-rummage-yard sales but then again, I’m no novice either. For example, I once loaded up a station wagon with stuff for a sale, and then hooked up a trailer and filled it with stuff for the sale, drove 150 miles one way, and sold most of this “stuff” for somewhere around fifty bucks. The rest went to The Salvation Army store.

If you use the IRS average cost of driving a vehicle to be around half a buck a mile, and if you value the time I spent at this at minumum wage, I lost somewhere around a thousand bucks.

And then I did it again the next year. Which goes to show you that there may well be not only a narcotic epidemic in this country but also a lesser well known but insidiously prevalent second addiction going on—namely garage sale fever. 

I once bought a pressure washer at a yard sale while visiting in Florida (It was too good a deal to pass up, don’t you know.) and UPS-ed it to Minnesota (Whew. Expensive, that.). Then I found out that no it did not work, contrary to the person’s claim that it did, and even better that there were no parts available to fix it.

As compared to the 300-mile debacle up above, it was a minor moment of irrational decision making, since it only cost me about a hundred bucks. So you see, if there is someone with the qualifications to claim expert status on something, it’s me and garage sales.

I once bought a truck while visiting in Florida, and a daughter offered to help me drive it home. I was at first quite appreciative. Then. 

She said: “Oh boy! We can garage sale our way all the way home.”  

Oh, boy.

If I hadn’t qualified for expert status before, this trip should get me in.