By Pastor Ryan Stockstrom

Harvest Church

February tends to turn our attention toward relationships. It’s the month of hearts, cards, flowers, and reminders—both subtle and obvious—that relationships matter. Even for those of us who aren’t especially romantic-(like me), it’s a natural season to pause and reflect on the people in our lives and the quality of our connections.

Scripture reminds us that every healthy relationship we hope to experience on earth begins somewhere higher. It begins with our relationship with God.

Jesus made this clear when He summarized all of Scripture into two commands: 

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. Matthew 22:37-39 NIV

In other words, our vertical relationship with God directly shapes our horizontal relationships with people. The more grounded we are in God’s love, the more capable we become of loving others well.

This is why relationships matter so deeply to God. They aren’t secondary issues; they are eternal ones. The Bible teaches that the only things we carry with us into eternity are our relationships with God and others.  Even Jesus’ description of final judgment in Matthew 25 centers not on achievements or possessions, but on how we treated others.

Yet anyone who has lived more than a day knows this truth: relationships are hard. They take effort and require patience.  So does our walk with God.

One of the most common barriers people have for drawing closer to God is fear.

Throughout Scripture, people encounter God and feel overwhelmed—sometimes even afraid. Moses hid his face at the burning bush. Adam and Eve hid themselves from God after they sinned.  Fear has a way of pushing us back from intimacy with God, especially when we’re aware of our own brokenness.

Many people carry an internal image of God that is harsh, disappointed, or distant. If we believe God sees us primarily as failures, we’ll naturally keep Him at arm’s length. But the gospel tells a different story. In Christ, we are forgiven, chosen, and fully loved. God does not call us closer to shame us—He calls us closer because He cares.  We need not be afraid.  

Another barrier is viewing God as transactional.

It’s tempting to treat faith like a contract: If God blesses me, then I’ll trust Him. When life goes well, faith feels easy. When it doesn’t, we may quietly withdraw from God. But God never promised trouble-free lives-quite the opposite. But, He does promise His presence no matter what we go through. Faith matures when we move from using God for outcomes to walking with Him in trust—even when the outcomes are unclear.

The final barrier is perhaps the most direct: unwillingness.

Each of us is responsible for our own walk with God. No one else can pursue that relationship for us—not your grandma, Dad, mom, or sister.  We can’t ride the coattails of family or friends into heaven.  God requires and desires a relationship with each of us. James 4:8  promises that when we draw near to God, He draws near to us.  

The good news is that God has already made the way. Through Jesus, we are invited to come near with confidence, not fear. To be honest in prayer. To be rooted in Scripture. To walk in community with others who are learning, struggling, and growing too.

God draws us near, not to condemn us, but to show us His loving kindness.  When we encounter Him, we begin the process of turning away from our sins, because we are in awe of His love for us.  When we know—deep in our bones—that God delights in us, something changes. Fear loosens its grip. Trust grows. Love flows more freely. And almost without realizing it, our human relationships begin to heal and deepen as well.  

It turns out that the strongest relationships aren’t built from the ground up—but from the heart outward, anchored in a God who is closer than we think.