Felicia Teiken

If you’ve ever had one of those weeks where you’re doing loads of fun things but can’t shake the feeling that you should really be at home applying for jobs, well, welcome to my life. For the last year, I’ve been in job search limbo, where I’ve applied to literally hundreds of jobs. I apply yes, but by applying I mean I’ve carefully tailored my resume, written heartfelt cover letters, and hit submit, only to hear…crickets. When I do hear back, it’s usually months later, and it’s the email equivalent of a pat on the head: Thanks, but no thanks.

To be clear, I do have a job—it’s a blast and it’s mindless but it’s not even close to what I had in mind for my long term career. It’s the job I’m working until I land that next career-defining position. But even with that in place, the search continues.

So, naturally, what did I do last week? Instead of sending out my 414th resume, I decided to book a few flights and leave my laptop at home.

First stop: Seattle, for the first time since I moved away a year ago. Walking around my old neighborhood felt surreal. Surreal in a sense that it kept feeling like I actually never left.

There’s nothing like Seattle’s gloomy charm, a good cup of coffee, and some of the freshest sushi I’ve ever had. I was visiting for a wedding and felt so surrounded by love but after the festivities I couldn’t help but think about my daunting job search—that nagging thought in the back of my mind like, “why has it been a year and you still haven’t landed that career starting job?” Seattle’s job market didn’t hold any secret shortcuts, as far as I could tell.

Then I was off to Denver for an Alison Wonderland show at Red Rocks. This was my first-ever concert at the iconic venue, and let me tell you, nothing compares to dancing under the stars surrounded by those beautiful red cliffs, friends you love, and of course the bass of the music. For a few hours, I forgot all about the endless job rejections and just danced my heart out. Denver was short-lived and before I could even get a full 8 hours of sleep, I was on my next flight.

I ended the week in Phoenix, where I helped my friends with an event hosted by End Overdose in partnership with The Life Stream Project. The event had some incredible musical talent, but the real highlight was the cause—educating people on how to save lives in the event of an overdose. For a moment, I thought, “Maybe this is what I should be doing—nonprofit work, focusing on meaningful causes, and leaving the job hunt behind.”

But as much as I loved being part of something so impactful, reality kicked in. These experiences are fulfilling but unfortunately they don’t pay the bills.

It’s hard to believe that I’ve been searching for a job for nearly a year. I’ve applied to everything, from dream positions to ‘well, at least it pays’ roles. And the outcome? Mostly radio silence, or worse—the dreaded delayed rejection. It’s that special kind of email that hits your inbox months later, long after you’ve forgotten the application ever existed: ‘We’ve decided to move forward with another candidate.’ Awesome. I’ve got a college degree, over 10 years of workforce experience, unique lived experiences, a vast array of soft and hard skills, and all of the other tactics that I’ve been using to try to sell myself —and yet, here I am telling you that I need a job.

So what have I learned from the past week and a half? Well, maybe it’s that life keeps moving whether or not you’ve got it all figured out. The job hunt continues, slowly but surely, and while I’m waiting for things to fall into place, I’ve realized there’s still so much I can do. I can help out with meaningful causes, go to shows, visit friends, and take a few flights to clear my head. And maybe that’s the balance I need right now. The rejection emails will come (eventually), but that doesn’t mean I can’t live my life in the meantime. Maybe my next job is just one cover letter away. Or maybe, I’ll just book another flight.